No one will object me if I say that pets are one of the most treasured and cared objects that a human possesses. It is often considered the strongest bond that a human can make with other living organism, at times more than the bond with the human beings. Thus a loss of pet either due to the death or missing of pet is considered as one of the biggest stressors on the disturbance scale. As we all are different, we do show different reactive patterns to adjust to the loss of pet. If we understand it, it becomes a lot easier either to empathize with a person who has lost his pet or to prepare ourselves to the anticipated loss of our pet that is on a death bed. This process of grief is very complex, yet it shows some fixed pattern or stages of development & resolution. Not everyone will pass through all these stages but will fall into one or more of them, in the process.
One of the most common initial reactions is of a denial. People usually do not accept the inevitable loss. If they have not seen the death, they will deny saying that may be the pet has got lost and has not died. Though others try to convince by saying that they have cremated the pet and is surely no more, the grieving person can still believe that the pet will come all of a sudden from somewhere. They continue keeping their food bowl filled and the milk plate replaced, hoping that their beloved pet will come some day to eat their favorite stuff.
There are few who can go into a phase of self-anger or resentment. They blame themselves for the loss and they believe that it is all since they did not take the necessary care or fail to provide the best medical facility to their ailing pet. The anger can also be turned towards those who were taking care of the pet, especially if one stays away from the pet. Thus there can be a hostility or anger or resentment towards the maid who nursed the pet on daily basis, or towards the veterinarian who medically attended the pet during the ailing period. These people blame them for not taking the pet to the needed care in time, as well as blame themselves for keeping their pet with such incapable hands.
The next most common emotion or outcome is depression. People show varied kinds of depressive manifestations. Some lose their appetite for weeks, some just shut themselves within their home, few take the belongings of the pet and spends hours just staring at those. There is social aloofness that prevails and the person can remain in the gloomy mood for days to come. I have seen at least 10 boys who have tattooed the name of their lost dog on their bodies. They feel incompetent to perform their day to day jobs and feel drained of all their vitality.
The final phase is of acceptance and resolution, which usually comes with talking to your friends and relatives who share your bereavement. There have been few agencies who can provide a good variety of memorabilia from t-shirts to mugs to specialized items of your choice. Thus the guilt of not able to do something special reduces and one can come to terms with the loss. Thus sets the thought pattern of having another pet, which can relieve your feelings much easier and faster. The new pet helps you to come out of the negative state faster, but still the memories of the lost one remain with you forever.
Appropriate use of Bach flower remedies like Gorse, Honeysuckle, Walnut, White chestnut, and Pine can help one to get relieved from the trauma easily.
